Gratitude

It’s just over two months since my last ‘proper’ blog post.  I often ask myself, “Why bother?”  My stats make pretty poor reading and, with so many other poetry bloggers out there doing it far better/offering readers something a little different – well, why bother?

I don’t think this blog post is about poetry.

I’m tired.  Bone-weary and brain-fogged.  I don’t sleep as well as I used to.  I get too many headaches (like the one I have now).  It’s the end of the teaching year but not the end of my To Do list.  I frequently drive to work wondering if mind and body will allow me to carry on till Teachers’ Pension-able age.  I find it much harder to multi-task these days.  I make mistakes; stupid mistakes.  Even the much-put-upon staff room photocopier does it better.

This isn’t about poetry.

What happened to the last twenty-odd years?  I woke up last January and found myself in my fifties – well into my fifties.  My hip said, “Wake up and smell the coffee,” or summat like that.

This isn’t about poetry.
It’s the chinks of light:
-a Thank You message in a card from my Reading Recovery Lead Teacher (few words, much praise and encouragement – it made me cry)
-the SMT member who said the children’s Summer Read books I’d displayed on tables in the hall looked “really good” (There were lots. There was me)
-the teacher and her class who chorused “thank you” as they left, clutching their choices
-the boy whose eyes lit up as he pounced on a Science Q & A book
-this afternoon’s early (below-target) reader who ‘made it sound like a story,’ grinned at me as she turned each page and volunteered her first full-sentence comments about the story (phonics ain’t the only tool, Minister)
this poem, on Anthony Wilson’s blog – on why we do it – the because-ofs and the in-spite-ofs (oh, yes, there are lots of the latter, Minister)

And, on gratitude, here’s Josephine Corcoran’s Seven/Seven thoughts.

 

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16 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. Jayne, this is a beautiful post, thank you for including me in it. There is real treasure in your gratitude list. How fantastic that you are making a real difference to the lives of so many people. I admire you so much. Sending you healing wishes for your headache and a thorough rest (not long to the end of term, Jayne!) to restore your energy. Love, Josephine x

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  2. I know this isn’t meant to be a poetry post, but it is very poetic. There can never be too many poetry blogs, and stats don’t matter if you get something from writing it yourself. I hope you have a restful Summer. Best wishes, Peter

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    • Thank you, Peter. I do enjoy writing blog posts, infrequent though they are. Hopefully I’ll get my mojo back soon, along with my creative brain 🙂

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  3. Jayne, thank you for your honesty in sharing this. It’s a wonderful blog post. Better to blog only occasionally and it be for a reason than to post every week (or day) out of obligation. Congratulations on getting to the end of the school year and for finding *enough* positives to keep going. I see first hand what teachers go through and I’ve always known I could never do it, I just don’t have that kind of patience and selflessness. But I’m grateful as hell to those who do. And I know what you mean about waking up in your fifties and realising you’ve done your last handstand (or summat like that) 🙂 I hope the headaches ease off and you get a proper relaxing summer holiday, you clearly deserve it.

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    • Many thanks, Robin. I didn’t set out to write cathartically, but I did feel better for writing it. I’m hoping my creative brain gets some breathing space over the summer. Enjoy yours! X

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  5. Hurrah for you & other teachers & the work they do. And for the community of bloggers. Hope you are enjoying the start of your summer holidays. Yes, I know what you mean about the ’50s. I’m getting bizarrely close to the far end of the decade. Thanks for the post 🙂

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  6. As someone of a similar vintage I empathise with your emotions here Jayne. I always watch out for when you post, my ears always prick up when you stand up to recite. As for frequency, if only more people only posted when they had something to say!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jayne, you’re an inspiration and your work ethic is better than none. Teaching is not the easiest profession and leaves many ups and downs. It’s draining and exciting at the same time. At least it was in my day … until it became an exercise in ticking boxes. Hang in there, write, attend readings, keep positive. Thanks to you and Dave for your help and support. Bernice

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